Back to blogging about my attempts to blog

  So my almost non-existent readership... hello there!

Yes, I'm back. There was no was no point in wondering whether I was truly back or not.  You see there is no other possibility; no one wants to hack a blog with 3 posts over 4 years ... 

Why am i back ?

Well, I have learnt to let down my guard ...just a little teeny weeny bit over the past years. I'm more able to talk in public about private issues or at least issues I consider private....
I have gone back to poetry and painting and also taken up photography ...i have taken them up as a means of self-expression rather than as an art so maybe maybe i'll share some of my work on this blog

I have had my heart mended and broken
I have quit my PhD and moved back  to Sudan
I have lost my mother, who was my rock and the one who made the world make sense...

hmmmm

This is such a self-centred blog ... there is an (I) between every two words...

but in a way it is comforting ... it is like talking to a therapist ...just without the polite digging and very much at my own pace

So maybe i should rename the blog ...call  it Rorschach
Oh  forgot to tell you: I was "inspired"  to write this post by a conversation with my dear friend who simply refuses to blog ...refuses not in so many words but in action or lack thereof 

  

Will I ever blog

My friend just revived her blog .. now i maybe in a copy cat mode but i would rather think that there are also other factors  that made me rember this blog... did i ever forget

Since I last blogged many things have changed

I have moved countries, changed occupations and possibly changed the way I think of life. I  started tweeting  which kind of made me haunted by blogging ideas. More importantly,my country and the world are changing. Politics is a major interest of mine and with the Arab Spring reshaping the world what more encouragement do I need to blog?

 Sudan is also changing. In a few days it will two countries. this officially puts an end to the Second Civil War. Unfortunately, the Third Civil War seems to have already started with the bombing of civilians in South Kordofan. Actually when taking the contemoprary history of  conflict into consideration not just that related to the North/South divide  this is the Fifth Civil War : Darfur and the East

I am involved with a number of groups which I hope can channel some of my hunger for change in my country and in my regions. The fact that I now live  thousands of miles away mean that coomunication over the internet has become more important to me as a personal tool of 'revolutionary struggle'... so presumptious I know ... take with a pinch of salt and a smile

Well  gtg but maybe I will get back soon

so until then

what now

Well here is blog # 2 .no one has read the first blog yet!Feeling of rejection! What if nobody ever rerads my blog?I think i need to get a bit more serious about this. try to define what it is somhow...still can't lisst it because i don't know where its fits....I should also put up somephotos....

I 'm not happy this is becoming a a blog about blogging... no really my thing ...but i don't know how much of myself do I want to put out there... do i  even want this blog to be about me ...

should i do a political blog, a sudanese blog , a daily blog ... cant be sure... but one thing i know i just blurting out my thoughts no rewritting or editing

oh how do you edit a blog? i might decide to take these first blogs off once i decide what the blog is about... they maybe inappropriate.... but we  said no editing, right?

I'm off for now

c u?

My First Blog

I am  not sure why I started this blog or what will it be about. Blogging is something I thought about for such a long time but for no longer than 20 seconds at a time. This is probably because I am sort of a perfectionist so I worry  about too many things ; is it nice enough , what if I choose the wrong content. what about spelling and grammer mistakes, whow do I control it, my privacy and a million other questions

by the way questions and question marks are one thing i'm sure you will find plenty of in this blog.

In uni they called me يعنى شنو after one of my favourite interrogative phrases. Now i started in english but this doesn't mean that this blog will always be in english probably because for me Arabic is the language of feeling and I'm too unattached to this blog to use Arabic. Yet, there will be times when only Arabic will do.

Should i stop now or should my first blog be longer?

I don't want to tell you people more about myself ...not now anyhow and I'm now petrified that ,for some reason I can't forsee, millions of messages will swamp my email account in reaction to this blog.الله يستر

c u?